I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
