So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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