he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
