ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
