it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
