i think my mom watched the whole time
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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