That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
