i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
