Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize