I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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