i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize