did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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