I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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