On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
