My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
