Got a toothbrush?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
