That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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