hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
