I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
