my being single is dangerous.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
