I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
