Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
