I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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