I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
