DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You need Xanax blowdarts
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
