dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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