With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
