Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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