Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(840): View more from

Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****

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(703): View more from Virginia

BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.

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(419): View more from Ohio

do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?

(567): View more from Ohio

EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.

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(352): View more from Florida

Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?

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(937): View more from Ohio

so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

What did he say?

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!

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(949): View more from California

Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.

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(253): View more from Washington

I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.

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