is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
