I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
