About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize