i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
