I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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