Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
