distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
