he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
handjob tips. give me some.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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