why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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