In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
