fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize