Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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