Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
tell me about the fingering
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize