Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
