Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize