I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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