Tell her she can't have a vagina
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
