Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
