Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
