you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
