why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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