ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
