and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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