it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
