I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize