you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
