Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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