Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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