After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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